You and Your Spouse Should Never Fight in Front of Your Children

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Cheon Seong Gyeong 146

In the book of Job, God gave Satan all he asked for. Why? God cannot respond to Satan with the same behavior as the devil because God is the essence of love for others. So God is the essence of truth. (144-161, 1986.4.12)

Cheon Seong Gyeong 1354

Since all of you participated in my Seven-Year Course, I took responsibility to bless everyone up to the 430 Couples. All Blessed Couples are a part of me; every one of them is great because they contributed to my course of world restoration. (22-68, 1969.1.21)



Parental Love

2. Raising Children with Firmness and Love

Teachings of Rev. Sun Myung Moon

Children do not like it if you criticize them repeatedly. Rather, they are happy if you accept and praise them even when they do wrong. Immature children need to be appeased in this way, to encourage them with praise. Nevertheless, children are self-centered. When they see something they like, they want to have it right away. Therefore, they need education. (36:73, November 15, 1970)

Sometimes parents push their children hard, and even spank them on occasion, but it is for their sake. Then after pushing them like that, the father and mother pray for their children in tears, unable to sleep at night. That is true love. (102:253-54, January 14, 1979)

Do you know what true parental love is? A true parent never thinks, “Now I am investing in my children’s future, but someday I will receive it all back with interest.” Parental love is to sacrifice day and night in loving their children, giving and giving more without ceasing. Thus, a mother keeps her children in mind even when she goes to the market, thinking that she would like to buy something more for them. That sort of parental love is close to the original love that God implanted in us. Because love has this origin, there is a basis to save humankind. (142:35, March 3, 1986)

Parents want to give their child the most valuable thing they own. Nevertheless, as long as the child is unable to manage it properly, they cannot give it. Were they to receive it when they were not ready, it could harm them. For example, a sharp knife is dangerous for a child, and no parent lets his child play with one, no matter how much he wants it. (29:108, February 25, 1970)

There is a Korean proverb, “Give a piece of cake to a person you hate, but a spank to the one you love.” It makes sense. When our parents scold us, we need to understand their loving heart, and when they hit us with a rod, we need to feel the pain they are going through and shed tears with them. Then we can inherit the proper tradition to continue in the next generation. (95:81, October 23, 1977)

Parents who raise their fists and strike their children in anger should immediately repent. The mother who does not hit her children, but rather sheds tears of compassion and love, is a more effective parent. The mother who disciplines this way will never be dominated by her children. She will always be successful at inducing her children to submit to her guidance. Were she to hit them, she would get poorer results. (41:332, February 18, 1971)

You and your spouse should never fight in front of your children. Never. Promise that you will never do it. This is the case in my own family. Because my wife and I have kept that promise, our children grew up secure in the belief that their parents never quarrel and love each other more than any other parents in the world. Thus you should educate your children, that they can regard their parents as their source of hope… If you have a son, he should say, “I want to become like my Dad.” Your daughter should say, “I want to become like my Mom.” That is the right way to educate them. (90:123, October 21, 1976)

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